he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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