wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
