I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize