did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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