i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
