I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
