Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
