Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
