i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
