If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
