I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
