no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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