I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
