he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
