Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
