Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
