question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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