Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
