Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize