There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My liver just broke up with me...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
