no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
