Apparently you make a good broom.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
