I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
