Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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