"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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