she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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