My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It was confusing and full of hummus
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize