i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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