i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
