just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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