He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
God, I missed his penis.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
