eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
