no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize