her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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