Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
