VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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