Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize