Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
