I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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