Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
