Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
