I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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