Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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