Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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