That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
