He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
