So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
