Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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