My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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