I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
