the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
