I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
