Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
