The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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