My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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