The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
