I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
