guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
