so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
